an earthquake.

The next few posts might be a little heavy, but I have so much swirling around in my head that I just need to get it out. I'll probably be doing a lot of writing, deleting, editing...... delete, delete, delete.

You see, this year has been life changing for me. My family has been through an earthquake. Beth Moore talks about how an earthquake is never something that we wish for or want. It's sudden. It hurts. It breaks you down to your core to where everything is shaken, except the one thing that cannot be shaken, the Lord. 

I've been shaken. Every single part of my life has and is being analyzed. Things that used to matter and areas that I felt my life was hinged on no longer matter. I've been tried, tested, rested and exhausted. The Lord has reigned true to his word that "ALL THINGS work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Here's the deal. I'm not at all saying I think what happened was the will of the Lord or his plan, that is not for me to decide. But what I am saying is that regardless of people's choices (good or bad), the Lord has my absolute highest good as his sole priority. And that is true for all of us, because He is God and we will never fully understand his magnificence or his ability to even do that for all of us at the same, exact time. 

This has been the best thing that has happened in my life, 

in my little family of three's life, 

in my marriage, 

in my relationship with the Lord
in my self-image & insecurities, 

in the way I am a wife,

in the way I mother,

in the way I am a friend.

So I hope I make sense to you. And even if I don't, that's okay.... because there is beauty in the mess of my words. And it's my heart, even if it's a big ole jumbled string of words.