Caroline woke up around 11:15 pm in a panic. Nothing would settle her, which is really unusual because once she sees Jeremy or I, she almost always stops crying. I can usually feed her back to sleep or put her passy in, but she showed no interest. Nothing would sooth her. I was gone the majority of Friday and Saturday at a women's retreat, so I'm sure that added into the whole ordeal with her. She missed us. I missed her. I brought her into our room to cuddle her and turned on the last song that was playing on my phone-- "Here" by Kari Jobe. She immediately stopped crying and slowly stopped fussing as the song played. She looked at pictures on my phone for a minute, and them I scooped her up in my arms in a side way position and snuggled her in and held her close. She nuzzled in and began to shut her eyes. She was uneasy a few times, but then conked out cold. We even transferred her to Jeremy's chest and she fussed, and he said,"it's okay baby girl." And placed his hand on her head, and pressed it against his chest. She immediately quit crying and fell soundly asleep.
We just laid in bed for a good 45 minutes with the song on repeat, crying and thanking the Lord for this moment. It was one of the sweetest moments I have ever experienced in my entire life.
The significance is mind blowing. He orchestrated everything.
- We were in the car last night and the words to "We Exalt Your Name" by Kari Jobe were streaming through my head. We listened to it really fast but got out of the car before we heard the next song-- which was, you guessed it, "Here". When she fussed, all I did was hit play, and did not look for this song on my phone. The Lord knew what would be happening later.
- I just got back from an incredible weekend where the Lord broke things in and over my life at the alter. I sobbed and sobbed and buried my head into the Pastor's wife's shoulder as she held me. -- I felt like I was being held by my Father. I found his healing, my heart isn't shattered anymore. He was right there with me.
- My relationship with my mother-in-law and one of my girlfriends was healed and restored.
- Jeremy held Caroline in the same way that the Pastor's wife held me. He pressed her head against his chest and whispered "It's okay, baby girl." when she wrestled and fussed. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and settled in.
After we placed her back in her bed, Jeremy and I talked about what it meant to us. We needed that time in our own ways, and the Lord healed things in our own lives as we held our baby girl.
I love how the Lord works. He's so, so sweet to me. Jeremy reminded me that He has had this moment planned for our entire lives. He was just waiting and was giddy knowing it would happen soon. I love that. I'm sure he was a hot mess with tears when he was watching the whole thing go down. Maybe not, but that's how I imagine my daddy would be. :)
Here-- Kari Jobe
Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down
Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now
You'll find His peace
And know you're not alone anymore
He is near
You'll find His healing
You're heart isn't shattered anymore
He is here
You will find Him here
I will rest in You