I was angry, hurt, annoyed, bitter, etc. etc.
But I was wrong.
There are countless times that this verse rushes to my head in the midst of a talk amongst girlfriends. Because frankly, you and I both know how us women folk are. We think it's "okay" to vent. "okay" to talk about the nitty gritty of someone else's life. (I'm reminding myself of this truth as I type this. I constantly have to check myself.)
But something I learned from my sweet mom, sitting at the kitchen table a few years back as I was just entering my 20's was this: "where there are many words, sin is not absent."
She kindly said to me, "Kimber, I don't need to know the details. I don't need to know why, or how, or when."
This was so foreign to me, because I would crave details. I mean I want to know what my husband eats for lunch and how many bites he took... for crying out loud. And you want me to hold my tongue and not say anything?! WHAT?!
When a girlfriend wants to talk about another dear friend? walk away, change the subject, hold my tongue.
Many words in a conversation leaves room for the enemy to come in and create a gossiping environment. We say things we never should have said.. and then later that day or night, we look back and regret not biting our tongue in the midst of conversation. It's so easy for us girls to jump off the gossip cliff and fall. It gets out of hand, fast. I know from first hand experience. I wish I didn't. But I do, and I only end up hurting myself and others.
I learned this lesson the hard way. But it was a valuable one! I want to be a better wife, mother, daughter and friend and I can start by controlling the small little muscle in my mouth. A small muscle that can also wreak havoc and "kill" someone or myself if I'm not carefully guiding it.
Today I'm linking up with my beautiful friends Lindsay Dryer & Amy Reed who I met through The Influence Network. This is week ONE of our Thursday series, "Little Life Lessons". Please join us! We'd love to have you! You can head on over to either one of their blogs to link-up and share your lesson.
Goodness. That punched me in the gut. I'm guilty of too many words, too many details, excessive venting. Thanks for the heart check and the challenge to do better. You're seriously awesome. XOXO
ReplyDeleteI think we all are :) I have to constantly remind myself to be better than that. My mom punched me in the gut, well, Jesus really, the first time I heard it. Such truth!! aaaannnnd I think you're awesome, too :) xo
DeleteWhat a terrific lesson and one that I'm learning myself. Working with teenage girls, and lots of women, there is a lot of talk. Sometimes I succumb to it but I really try to just walk away. And they've noticed - especially the teens. It's good to know that sometime I am doing is speaking to them. The absence of words is often louder than an abundance.
ReplyDeleteamen to that! It is so much louder. People learn to respect you as well. They will realize that you are 1) more trustworthy and won't scatter their "mail" everywhere and 2) they won't talk about something in front of you because you they know you don't need the details. How fun for you to work with teens and women-- they are definitely my passion in life!
DeleteGirl this is DEFINITELY something God is teaching me right now. And it's so hard! I hate admitting that it's hard for me, I don't like to think of myself as a gossiping person. But when you get in that environment with another girlfriend and you're just spinning off random conversation topics, gossip seems to creep in.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wonderful life lesson that you shared :)
It totally does! I'm right there with you. Constantly dying to myself for the sake of others and Christ!
DeleteSo. True. All of it. Thankful for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Jess! Thankful for you, too!
DeleteGreat reminder, girl. Thanks!
ReplyDelete:) thanks for popping in, Heather!
DeleteSuch a great reminder of how powerful our words are! That's a great verse too, I may have to memorize that one for when I am tempted to gossip and over-share. Also, if I didn't make my husband's lunch, I would also ask that question everyday. Glad to know I'm not alone in that. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was great to "meet" you through the link-up! Looking forward to reading more!
haha, I like detail. Sometimes my husband asks "Why does it matter?!" and I have to catch myself. It doesn't. but I somehow feel closer to him throughout the day if I know what he did all day long? Crazy, I know.
DeleteI had to memorize it too. Sometimes it's even on my lock screen on my phone if I'm really struggling with it. So happy to "meet" you too! Love your blog!
Such truth, Kimber! It's so easy for me to gossip, "vent," and use my words in ugly ways...thanks for sharing that verse!
ReplyDeleteSo happy you could stop by, Nicole! How is the job hunt going? I haven't been able to login to IN in a few days because of a busy schedule this week. Praying for you!
DeleteHey - joining from the link up today. This is SO good and such a great reminder. Our words have power! And that's such a responsibility but it can be such a beautiful thing too :)
ReplyDeletehey Ashley! SO much power-- I couldn't agree more about the beautiful responsibility. SO glad you stopped by!
Deletekimber - your words speak so much truth to so many women. the enemy knows our weakness! he knows we are relational beings and wants to use his power to ruin those relationships rather than see them strengthed by the lord! i appreciate you for being wise with your tongue. and i pray that the lord would continue to allow me to do the same. :)
ReplyDeleteah, you speak such truth! thank you for this! and thanks for praying :)
DeleteThis is a fantastic lesson, Kimber! I've had so many conversations after which I've thought, What did I even say? Am I sure I should've said everything I did? I'm slowly learning to evaluate more carefully when to be silent and when to speak up.
ReplyDelete