(Disclaimer-- this post is not eloquently written. In fact, I didn't even re-read it once I posted it. Wrong? Maybe. But it's straight from my heart. So if you're judging me grammatically, I'm probably giving you a headache. :))
For the past three weeks, I've been involved in a Women in Leadership Development class. I didn't really understand WHY I was there until this week. Now I know that I know that I know. And my heart is about to explode.
I've known since I was about 16 that I had a specific calling on my life. That I was set apart and different. But I never really realized that I have something to offer. That God has placed something so deep inside of my heart and life and he's called ME to deliver it. I didn't realize that I had influence on the women and people around me until just recently. I'm still BLOWN away when people said that I inspired them to do something, encouraged them in a specific way (by my actions, not words), spoke into their lives, etc. Sometimes, well, most of the time, I think "Why me, God. ME?!". But he keeps showing me over and over again how deep this calling is. I can't escape it. I don't want to escape it, but to be completely honest it scares me so bad.
However, this is where the class comes in. I feel, well, now I know, that I am in an intense time of mentoring and equipping for what God has for me. I'm going through things in my life so that I can be an aide or a bridge for people to find Christ through their circumstances. I learning to love people where they are at, knowing that I am not the one to "fix" them. Because frankly, nothing in me will help anyone else out. It's all God.
I'm about to run off onto a rabbit trail. Will you stick with me a minute? One of the biggest lessons I've learned through this season was to just LOVE. That when I clothe myself in love, the Lord shines through and can do what he wants through me. That nothing I do is of me, that it's all of Him. That I myself, Kimber Campbell, am not the "fixer". Want to know something crazy? I was becoming prideful when I thought, "Well, I'll just send them this sermon and they'll find God and he'll turn their lives around. I'll be the one to START the turning of their hearts." My mom called it out in me. PRIDE. Harsh words, right? Yeah. But it struck deep. I thought I could make people turn back to Christ. I was so wrong. Hearts are turned to Christ when they surrender, sometimes hit rock bottom, and ultimately chose for themselves to follow Christ. And none of that is because of me.
So yes, I'm extremely excited for what the Lord is doing in and through me. Someone today said the Lord spoke to her in this way. He gave her a picture of a dresser. He was cleaning it out, getting rid of the things she didn't need, and re-folding the clothes, putting them exactly where HE wanted them. And that's what the Lord is doing in my life. He's cleaning me out. Re-arranging some things, and getting rid of the things that aren't necessary.
And I love it so very much. I can't wait for what He has for me next!